She

In the beginning, it was merely infatuation with her. I thought she was pretty and I wanted her. In a sexual way, of course. She didn’t realize this, however, and she absolutely adored me. I was her first; she didn’t know how she deserved to be treated, so I took advantage of that. I didn’t really care about her feelings all that much and luckily, she didn’t seem to mind. I hung out with and talked to other girls constantly, I blew her off date after date, I treated her like garbage; yet she still stayed. She forgave me even when I wasn’t sorry. I would practically beg her to leave me- but some part of me thought she never would. All of those nights she spent crying over me... over ways I messed with her beautiful, pure mind... I slept like a baby. I remember how it felt to lie straight to her face. I would watch her eyes water and her lip quiver and I legitimately felt nothing. I didn’t care. In fact, it almost amused me. I liked hurting her to some extent. Having so much power over someone’s emotions gave me such a high.

But then things changed. She stopped answering my texts. When I told her lies, the expression on her face remained unphased. Soon, she was ignoring me completely. At first, I was relieved but that quickly changed. I missed the scent of her hair on my pillow case and the way she would sing to me from the passengers seat of my car. I missed her. I started looking for her in everything. When I went to Taco Bell I remembered her order- fiesta potatoes, soft taco, and a caramel apple empanada. When I went to the movies, I thought about our first kiss in the back of the theater, her lips tasted like butter. I couldn’t go anywhere without remembering all of the times I took for granted. Then, I saw her. It was the first time since she left. She was with another guy sitting on a bench across from me, admiring the fountain in front of them. She didn’t see me. I watched him pull a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. I never got her flowers. Her expression was priceless: she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheeks. I looked away and kept walking. My chest hurts. She deserves him. She deserves to be happy.