Success can be defined differently for everyone. Success is not determined by what a person has, but by what they make out of what they do have. “In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” This was once said by Brother David Steindl-Rast and reiterates that genuine contentedness and happiness is exceptionally more important than being “successful” in society’s eyes. True success can be achieved by looking around and appreciating life for what it is- not for what it could be.
Finding happiness in the things we have instead of searching for fulfillment in the things we lust after is the first step to gaining success. However, I did not always think that this was true. Society puts so many standards on how to be the ideal human being and I found myself continuously seeking to achieve that. As a young girl, the media constantly flaunted requirements for how to be somebody. I fell into the trap of believing I had to have all of those things for me to be worth something. I spent all of my time and energy striving to be that image of “perfection” and ultimately ended up destroying myself. By beginning to love myself and realizing that I had come so far, I came to the conclusion that one can determine their success by asking themselves one simple question: Are you happy?
Success and happiness can be achieved no matter what a person’s situation may be. It is widely believed that having the most “stuff” is the only way to be content. In contrast, I do not believe that this is accurate. Happiness is a decision, despite the situation. G.K. Chesterton once stated, “...There is nothing that is not successful. That a thing is successful merely means that it is; a millionaire is successful in being a millionaire and a donkey in being a donkey” (Chesterton). Coming to terms with the fact that success for one might not meet another person’s standards will aid in having a more confident and satisfied mindset. In the Ted Talk “A Kinder, Gentler Philosophy of Success”, Alain De Botton describes us as not fearing failure itself but instead fearing the judgment and ridicule of others. On a missions trip to El Salvador, I met some of the most joyful and selfless people, yet their houses were unstable shacks and most didn’t even have a pair of shoes that were not completely falling apart. Their contentment radiated off of them and made me feel absurd for complaining about not having air conditioning for a week or not being able to use my cellphone. To us Americans, they are considered to be the furthest thing from successful. However, in their eyes, they were prosperous and blessed with just the ability to live and spread their jubilance with others.
People place too much emphasis on winning. What people tend to forget is echoed by Ellen Degeneres when she once said, “It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success” (Walter). If you can recognize that failure is inevitable, you will learn that failure is success if you learn from it. However, that does not mean that defeat is easy to cope with. There have been so many times in my life where I thought that one mistake defined who I was and my ability to perform well in the future. For example, I wrote this essay a day early for extra credit and ultimately failed myself by having to re-write it and forfeit the extra points. While that seemed like a tragedy at the time, it helped to make me a better writer in the long run. (And it definitely made me learn from my mistakes.) Yes, life is hard. But being able to rise up from the difficulties and struggles is the what truly makes a person fearless. Stephen Colbert adds to this idea by stating “Improvisation is a great educator when it comes to failing. There’s no way you are going to get it right every time” (Bain). One can’t always control what happens in life, but they can easily change their perspective.
Being grateful is the truest way to find peace of mind. Though the success most people aspire to obtain involves fame, riches, and/or power, none of those things are a fool proof path to gaining happiness. We can all truly become successful by remaining positive through all seasons of life and not just when things are going seemingly well. If a person can look back years from now and appreciate the good, the bad, and everything in between: then I believe they lived a truly successful and meaningful life.
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